… the HR Minion. Because even minions have opinions. And giggles.

Why? Do you want me to reject your resume outright?

People make my head hurt. Like pound it into a wall, brain bleeding out my ears, wish I could fall into a coma, hurt. I think to work in HR you need to be a little cynical, a little manipulative, and have clear boundaries. If you are thinking about going into HR because you like people and want to help them, become a nurse. This is not a job for people who are too nice.

But still, sometimes I just have to wonder if people are purposely trying to fail. They can’t really be that stupid, can they? I know I’m being mean, but come on! How can I do anything else but reject you outright if you think you should apply for both an entry level customer service job and a high end IT job, within minutes of each other and using the same resume? What is that supposed to tell me about you? Hi, I’m desperate for a job and I’m just going to apply for everything? Hi, I have poor reading comprehension skills?

Or, I’m going to take this customer service job and then a few months in walk out because I don’t like dealing with the customers and my boss won’t change the job duties to accommodate that.

Or, I’m finishing up my Master’s degree but I can’t seem to pass a Basic Skills Assessment even though I only need to hit the 25th percentile. Let me say that again: 25th percentile people!!! Theoretically, 75% of the people who take it should pass! How did you ever, ever, get through college?

Gahhhh!!!! Ahem, I’m calm now, I promise. Let me just go grab some chocolate.

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