Advice for Minions: How do you know you are a minion?
So you’re clocking in every morning at the secret underground lair, cleaning the salt water tank while the technician checks the laser beams attached to the sharks’ heads, all before getting knocked out from behind while on patrol. Just a normal day as a minion, right?
Wait, you mean that’s not what you do everyday? Who do you hench for? Oh, you have a real job. So how do you know you’re really a minion without the convenient job description and title?
Never fear, just answer yes or no to the following statements to help determine your minion status (or lack thereof).
1. You do not have any direct reports.
2. You find yourself doing the odd jobs that make other peoples’ jobs easier.
3. You have some autonomy and/or authority in your position, but not when it really matters.
4. You wear a red shirt and are often sent down to the planet first to determine the seriousness of a situation (usually with your own untimely death).
5. It didn’t take you long to learn and master all aspects of your job and you are no longer challenged.
6. There are some nice perks to your position and you may like what you do, but you wish you had more (money, respect, duties, etc.).
7. People often misunderstand or disregard what you actually do for the organization.
8. Part of your new hire orientation was learning how to die in an appropriately dramatic fashion.
9. You hardly see your boss, either because they trust you to do your job or they forget about you.
10. You’ve become very good at people misdirecting their anger towards you and can remain outwardly stoic.
11. You are not necessarily evil, but you do have flexible morals.
12. Your time at work is as busy at times as it is slow.
If you agree with most of the statements above, then congratulations! You can now proudly count yourself among the many proud minions who have fallen before the hero before you! That also means that this post series is for you (and even if not, read anyway, I’ll try to bring the funny).
Now that we have clarified who minion’s are, next time we’ll delve into more pressing matters. Stay tuned!
