… the HR Minion. Because even minions have opinions. And giggles.

Review time means contest time!

I don’t know about you, my dear readers, but the end of the year means my yearly performance review. In a meeting with my boss today he asked me to start thinking about my accomplishments this past year and some goals I want to strive for in 2009.

Now, thinking about all the good things I’ve done over the last year can be hard enough sometimes (I need to be less humble), but it can also be a challenge to think of what I want to accomplish next year. I know I want to get my PHR certification but that’s about it. I do like my job and company, but to be perfectly honest, it’s not much of a challenge anymore and my growth potential here is limited. To be very honest, I probably need to find a new job in 2009.

But that is neither here nor there. My challenge for you, dear readers, is to suggest some performance goals for me for 2009. What’s in it for you besides my love and gratitude? Why a $15 gift card to Starbucks (or another store if you are so inclined). The winner will be selected based on either the humor value or the usefulness of the suggestion. Please post your suggestion in the comments and originality is encouraged.

Yay, I love having other people do the heavy lifting for me! On your mark… Get set… Go!

11 Responses | Add your Own

  • 1 Rachel - I Hate HR :

    What are your normal job duties?

  • 2 talentedapps :

    this is hard not knowing much about your job but here are some general ideas
    1) grow your professional network. Grow the number and quality of your network connections and use that information to give back at your workplace (I’m vague on the 2nd part b/c I’m not sure your exact needs here)
    2) Focus some energy on a unique strength you have (research? process improvement? communication? other?) to increase this strength and increase your personal engagement.
    3) Map a mid and long term career plan for yourself. Determine that by this time next year you will have charted out a plan of where you want to go so that this process is more straightforward next time around
    4) Mentor someone – find a way to “give back” what you have learned to others in your company or your department
    5) of course also always add a goal or two for your specific job duties.

  • 3 HR Minion :

    Rachel – It would help if you know what I do. πŸ™‚ Why don’t you know already, aren’t HR people supposed to be psychic?

    Anyway, I mostly handle recruiting, employee relations issues, committee work and EEO/AA stuff. There’s a bunch of misc HR stuff thrown in but this is what I spend most of my time on.

    Talentedapps – Really nice suggestions!

  • 4 HR Underling :

    Stock up on catnip, you never know, it might work on humans.

  • 5 Dan McCarthy :

    Minion –
    Be extraordinary and do no evil?
    Hope you’re not looking for SMART goals.

  • 6 HR Minion :

    HR Underling – Well, that’s certainly a unique suggestion. πŸ™‚

    Dan – Do no evil? Hmm, Jason Seiden won’t be happy with that suggestion. No SMART goals, just creative ones.

  • 7 Kelly :

    See, I think you should find a way to get the most you possibly can out of this one. The whole working smarter bit.

    – Grow your professional network, which means spending tons of time on Facebook, MySpace, LinkedIn, etc. Preferably Facebook so you can play games all day while “growing your network.”
    – Explore training options, preferably ones that involve conventions in beautiful, shopping-plentiful locales, or headline concerts featuring bands you like.
    – Publish X number of articles each month (more blogging goodness for us, yay!)
    – Brainstorm ways to improve relations between HR and the worker-bees in your company. Mainly brainstorm by ordering food so you can try all the best stuff beforehand, and maybe score some sweet goodies. You don’t actually have to “have” the events, just glean goodies from vendors.

    (Disclaimer: I have totally only done like, one of these myself, but I’ve worked with others who set such fine examples I can’t help but share them. The only other alternative I have is discovering some obscure thing that qualifies you for FMLA without actually having quantifiable symptoms. It frees you up to come and go as you please with no repercussions!)

  • 8 HR Minion :

    Kelly – I like the way you think, good suggestions. I can’t add my blog to the goals though cause my boss doesn’t know about it. That would be an awkward conversation.

  • 9 Dena Harris :

    How about “No suicides on your watch.” Aim high, baby.

  • 10 HR Maven :

    Ok Minion,

    Here is the only PDP you need. You can send me the $tarbuck$ card now. πŸ˜‰ Forget what YOU need; tell your employer what you expect of THEM.

    Here is your eval.

    1. You are lucky to have me to do your &*^%$ work. Kiss my a#$ on a regular basis or you may actually have to do something- and even get a papercut.

    2. Learn my language since I speak in acronyms. Really good acronyms like STFU and ROTFLMAO. There are plenty more so pay attention.

    3. When I want it, I want it NOW; not tomorrow, not next week, NOW. Don't make me explain it more than once.

    4. Quit ending sentences in prepositions. It annoys the crap out of me and may jeopardize your ability to finish your boss' work (since I am doing it) or find your personnel file.

    5. And if you don't increase my salary and promote me, I will be forced to create a Facebook account in your name and harass the new accounting clerk – the single one with blond hair. And add your wife as a FB friend. Terms and conditions on FB? Don't know anything about them.

    We all love Eval time, don't we? Or did you want something serious? This is so much more fun.

  • 11 HR Minion :

    Dena – You’re going to make me cry! I don’t know how I would deal with an employee who committed suicide.

    HR Maven – Well it would be a very Gen Y thing to go to my boss with those ideas. And no, serious is not necessary, thanks!